covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
