What tipped you off? The sombrero?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
