I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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