i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
