Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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