what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
