I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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