4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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