Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
