let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
