This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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