I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
