I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
