Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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