Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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