I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
