Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
