"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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