No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Come on in and take your pants off
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