we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
