my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
