Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
