Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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