i already hear my dad disowning me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
