My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
