Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
