She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize