..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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