you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
