nut hugger
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
