Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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