She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
