OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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