hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
