I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
