the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
