3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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