it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
