he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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