went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
