Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
