Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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