Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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