You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
