Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
