i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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