he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she woke up with a sticky ear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it hurts more in the daytime
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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