so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
