apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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