You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
