everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
