I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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