Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
false alarm, still single
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