Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
