I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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